Sex After A Break Up: How To Fix Your Broken Pussy

After a break up, trying to get back in the "swing of things" can be an awkward situation to say the least.

While some can "bounce to the next dick" with no issue. Others finding it difficult to move on could be left asking...

"Is my pussy broken?"

See what I did there

Well is it?!

What does a "broken pussy" even mean you ask?

Imagine this

You're laying in his bed staring at the ceiling fan spin as "new bae" attempts to give you that work. But your body just isn't playing along, making it pretty much impossible for you two to do the do.

 Awkwwwwwward.

Especially if this is your first time together.

The worst part is a situation like this can leave YOU (because forget his ego) feeling defeated, self conscious and completely unprepared for sex after a break up.

So how do you get over it?

Get a new cooch?

Nah bruh, too expensive and your pussy is not broken.

While your body might not be playing along in your attempts to get the D, these situations are usually more mental than they are physical. Thats right, your head can literally get in the way of...well your head lol.

 Unlike our male counter parts, women don't have an easy on/off switch when it comes to sex. While it's possible for women to have no strings attached and emotionless sex our brains still need to be into the act for our bodies to function.

So when trying to get back to a normal sex life after a break up any little thing from worrying about who's bringing the condoms to the few extra pounds you put on can have you feeling overwhelmed and not in the mood.

How do I know because I've been there too, but what I've learned is theres hope.

For every second thought and insecurity you have there's a way to move past it and I'm here to help, because girl...its time to get back out there and get you some.

1) The Problem: Your cooch turning into the Sahara Desert

 While your mind is telling you yes, your body......your boooooodys telling you nooooooo.

The Fix: Girl get you some lube or get you a new guy 

Despite your best efforts you can't be Niagara falls all the time sweetie. It's also not uncommon to be nervous or shy your first time with a new partner which can totally make the waters run dry. So just make sure you have some lube close by when you think things may be going down.

Also sometimes despite your best efforts sometimes you're just not sexually attracted to someone and the chemistry is not there. In that case lube ain't gonna help so if the vibes not there and thats why your lady parts are not working, kick that man to the curb.

Note- First time nerves and your body telling you no are two different things, know your body and know the difference.

2) The Problem: You've gained some weight

Since the break up you have may have made snacks your new bae and the scale seems to be a little confused about what your real weight is.

The Reality: GIRL SO!?

Girl that ain't nothing but more of you to love.

Listen its completely natural to put on some weight after a break up. You've done it, i've done it, we've all done it. The one common factor? The next man does not care.

First of all, if he's a completely new guy he's meeting you at your new weight and knows nothing prior. Second of all i've never encountered a dude who cared about a little extra cushion for the pushin. Hell if anything a bigger booty is a plus in most guys minds.

However if this new dude has an issue with your weight, he's a non mother f'in factor. Be confident in  you and own your body! Now if YOU have an issue with your new found weight and are unhappy, change it.  I'm sure the right new bae will be down for a little gym date.

3) The Problem: You don't have any condoms

It's been a while since your last tour in the sheets so your condom supply has run dry. Unfortunately  now its 1:45am, new dude is here and Netflix and chill has progressed to Netflix and no chill.

The Fix: 24 hour Walmart bruh

I am completely for the no glove no love rule, because at the end of the day the most important thing you can do is protect you. If you don't have any condoms, its not an excuse, plenty of stores are open 24 hours and if booty is in the cards so are condoms.

Sidebar- I think its completely appropriate and cool for women to carry their own condoms, don't be ashamed to be a health conscious and own your sexuality.

4) The Problem: The kitty hasn't had a shape up

LMAO first of all, I don't know why but the literal idea of a cat having a shape up is hilarious.

However on a more serious note, the cooch not being "tame" can be a confidence breaker for women.  While we may love our all natural fro's on top...down south is a whole different story.

The Reality: He don't care girl

Repeat after me...he...don't...care.

Sometimes I really think we give dudes more credit than they deserve. 9 time out of 10 if a dude really likes you (hell sometimes even if he doesn't) he's probably more worried about you finding out he's not as cool as he lets on than he is about the hair on your vajayjay.

Now don't get me wrong there are some dudes that will have a whole fit if things are seriously out of order down there. However most guys are just happy to make it to your bedroom, homie is going to make no complaints.

If you are freaking out though grab your trusty razor but if you want to give your cooch a serious personal upgrade and one that will keep him coming back for more uh..."snacks" check out my post Keeping The Kitty Smooth and find a bomb waxer in your area.

5) The Problem: You just don't want it like you used to 

This is a hit or miss to be honest, it's quite possible that after your last break up you may not be in the emotional head space to date let alone have sex.

The Fix: Figure out your feelings

At this point its all up to you to, no one can tell you what your feeling. There is no shame in needing to take a step back from the dating world and absolutely no shame in not being interested in sex at the moment. If need be, maybe look into talking to someone about your feelings, if you're not big on the face to face therapist thing you can always try Talk Space where you can find your very own personal digital therapist.

If you are dating and a person is pressuring you to speed up your healing process just to get some ass,  thats a HUGE sign its time to reevaluate that person rather than your feelings.

6) The Problem: You don't feel pretty anymore and you're questioning if he even really likes you

Damaged self esteem is one of the worst effects of a break up. No matter if your split was a clean break or a messy train wreck. It's easy to get sucked in to self doubt but what I always like to remind myself of is, if he thought you were pretty...girl someone else will too.

The Fix: Work on your self esteem

It's not the end of the world and he was not the last guy you will ever date. The best option when your self esteem is wavring is to take a step back and recognize your worth. Being involved while your self-esteem is compromised no matter if its sexually or emotionally can be a bad situation. So take time to hang with your girls, have them sing your praises and make sure you feel better about you first.

So whats the general take away here?

Girl ya pussy ain't broken! But you do have to get out of your head and out of your own way if you want to "bounce to the next dick boy"

When you're ready you will, just know you're not alone in all that you are going through in the mean time.
We've all been there.

Until Next Time,
XO Deanna