Tis The Season: 10 Tips To Help You Manage The Holidays Alone

Ok, so Christmas and New Years are right around the corner and we all know what that means...

Proposals, holiday parties, happy couples shopping for trees, Hallmark movies and everyone you know posting their joyous moments all over social media for the world to see. 

Holiday magic and Christmas cheer eeeeverywhere you turn...

But what if you don't have anyone special to spend the holidays with or if you cant make it home to be with your family? Maybe you're even dealing with the loss of a loved one this holiday season? 

Let's face it, it can be pretty hard to be cheerful when you're constantly being bombarded with images that remind you of what you don't have.

So whats the solution?

Change the narrative and beat the holiday blues!

Being someone who's had to cope with the harsh realities of being single or not being able to see her family during the holidays. I've come up with 10 things that have helped me and will help you manage the holidays alone and lift your spirits this holiday season. 

1) Festivus For The Rest Of Us

Originally stemming from a Seinfeld episode and celebrated on December 23rd, Festivus is the non commercial holiday celebration. It involves dinner, an unadorned aluminum Festivus pole and practices such as "Airing of Grievances". 

However in reality, Festivus For The Rest Of Us has been adopted by friend groups as Christmas's answer to friendsgiving.  It's a great way to surround yourself with your tribe without all the pressures of Christmas. So invite your friends over, ask them all to bring a dish, play some games and keep your spirits merry and bright.

2) Volunteer

While it may not be your first thought during the holidays, volunteering really does something special for your spirit. Being able to help put a smile on other's faces in their time of need is almost therapeutic. 

There are tons of ways you can give back and get involved during the holidays. There are food banks, toy drives, coat drives, reading to children, soup kitchens and more.

Two of my favorite give back initiatives in the DMV are Hashtag Lunch Bag in Baltimore and Lunch Bag Social in DC. 

For me volunteering helps to put everything in perspective, because it shows you even when you're down you still have so much to offer and in the end you truly are blessed. 

Valspar via Countryliving.com

3) Redecorate Your Space

Wait, here me out.

Sprucing up your living space does wonders for your energy and mind set. Sometime's something as simple as a few plants, new lighting or a change of color scheme can completely alter your vibes. 

A few tips, the color blue in the right shade evokes calm, relaxing emotions and gives a sense of security. Also shades of green can help soothe pain, restore balance and is associated with optimism. So when you're really feeling down try to add hints of these colors around your home or even  go hard and paint a whole wall that color.

Realsocial.com

4) Stop Comparing

Back away from the cell phone. I REPEAT back away from the cell phone.

One of the most dangerous things we can do when feeling down is be on social media. Watching every update of our friends, celebrities and sometimes even enemies lives can take the largest emotional toll on us.

Questions like "am I not good enough?" and "why cant I have that?" ultimately arise and turn to negative thinking, which can send us into a downward spiral. 

Remember, what people post on social are like highlight reels of their lives. Rarely do you get to see the hard times or low points and in a time where you may be tempted to compare what you're going through to the "picture perfect" versions of your peers lives, its best that you don't see it at all.

So do yourself a favor and log off. 

Your life is not meant to be compared, your journey is your own and trust me you are doing fine <3.

5) Company Holiday Party? No Problem!

No bae? No worries!

Who ever said that your plus one at holiday parties had to be a bae? There is zero shame in bringing your best girlfriend or your homeboy to an event. 

Also...think about it this way, if you show up without a traditional date you may even meet your next prince charming. Lets think about how many potential blessings you may have blocked by showing up at events with your previous bae who in turn didn't stand the test of time. 

Don't sweat it sweetheart. Take your homegirl, she better to party with anyway.

6) Get Away From It All

I'm leaving on a jet plane...well i'm not but you can! One of the best ways to get out of a slump is a change of scenery, so change your routine and take a trip.

I even spent one Christmas breaks in Florida...now I will admit it was a little odd seeing no snow and wearing shorts on Christmas but it was just what I needed to clear my mind of everything around me.

7) Say No

No. Is a full sentence that does not require an explanation. 

There can be A LOT of pressure to do everything and go everywhere and see everyone during the holidays. However if you are just not feeling like it don't be ashamed to say-- "no, i think ill pass".

Likewise if you are out and about at an event trying to fight the good fight and you hit your limit. Its ok to say-- "i think its time for me to head home".

End of story.

8) Buddy Up

Just moved to a new city...or maybe you're away at school and cant get home to your family? I know this can be an all too common occurrence for my 20 something's and college readers.

I mean I remember at school, a good amount of students just stayed on campus during Christmas break because they couldn't afford the trip home.

 I know traveling can be expensive but spending the break in a dorm on an almost empty campus or being in your new place without much to do does not have to be the answer. 

How about asking a friend that is local if you can hang with them over break?

 I pretty much cant think of a better way to spend the holidays than with a home cooked meal and a friend thats becoming family!

9)Manage Expectations 

When you are going through something during the holidays some days will be better than others and some days will be really bad.

That is ok!

10) Be Kind To Yourself 

If there is one thing we tend to do as humans is beat ourselves up about things we can not control. No matter if your dealing with a break up or the loss of a loved one remember that self care is super important.

If you notice you are going down a spiral, reach out for help and always remember that healing takes time and their is nothing wrong with either of those things.

-Bonus Tip-

Dealing With Nosey Family 

If you have recently gone through a break up, you're not obligated to answer every little question your family has when they see you over the holidays. 

When the questions get too deep or start coming too often, kindly change the subject. If that does not work remove yourself from the situation. Of course they are going to be inquisitive and nine times out of ten they mean no harm. However, being respectful of your feelings and privacy should be their first priority.

I hope this post helps anyone who is going through a tough time this holiday season. 

Feel free to pass it along and repost on your social as well, you never know who may need it. 

If you have any other tips on how to beat the holiday blues, feel free to leave your advice in the comments below!

Until Next Time,

XO Deanna