15 (RUDE) CHANGES IN EARLY PREGNANCY THAT YOU DONT EXPECT

Clearly by the title...you can tell YOUR GIRL IS PREGNANT!

So, now that the cat is out of the bag...I guess I can finally start talking about all the things I've been through in the last 3+ months. 

Pregnancy in itself is a blessing, you're bringing new life into this world, starting a family, entering into a new chapter in your life...blah blah blah all the pretty storybook shit right? 

Right!

But what they DON'T TELL YOUR ASS is all that comes along with that beautiful bundle of joy baking in your oven. But i'll tell y'all and you know I keeps it all the way real! So for my ladies who are looking to become mom's, for those in their first few weeks, for the nosy folks that just wanna know what happens and for mama's that want a laugh with a little trip down memory lane I'm gonna walk your thought what you can expect and whats been going down over here!

In no particular order of fuckery

1) BREAST AND BACK ACNE

Never in my entire life have I ever "struggled" with acne. Of course in college I had the typical bump that would appear on my nose or cheek at the perfectly WRONG time and I would be embarrassed beyond belief.

But this pregnancy acne y'all is no joke and in the most awkward places. I swear I woke up one day covered in bumps, across my shoulders, down my cleavage, up my back. It has since cleared up but for a good month I felt like a brail map smh.

 2) AUTOMATIC GAG REFLEXES 

So I know that depending on the person gag reflexes are just a thing. It can appear when at the dentist and getting work done on back teeth or even while at the Dr when they are trying to test if you have strep throat...normal things.

But NOT when you are just trying to brush your teeth, walk outside or into a restaurant!

When I tell you it was a legit struggle just to complete normal oral hygiene *sigh*. I recall a day that I walked outside and could smell the harbor water that is close to my job and almost tossed my cookies right then and there. Oh and don't get me started on trying to walk into Chic-Fil-A (which I have not been able to enjoy since I've been pregnant) or Mission BBQ. I literally have to stop once I walk in the door and gather myself.

3) ITCHING BOOBS

You will never know awkward until you are sitting at work, minding your business at your desk and BOOM out of nowhere not only do your boobs feel like they are on fire but you MUST scratch them...

I got out of my seat so damn quick and ran to the bathroom, just so I could scratch my boobs in peace. Then calmly walked back to my seat like nothing ever happened.

4) HOT FLASHES 

Yup, hot flashes are not just for your 55 and older club anymore. 

My AC in my house is set at a constant 68 degrees and I have a fan at my desk while most people are cranking up their heaters because they claim the office is too cold. 

5) HATING YOUR PARTNER

This one was honestly the worst for me. The entire first trimester, between feeling sick, uncomfortable, irritable and downright emotional. 

I really just didn't want to be bothered by anyone and that included my bae.

I by nature am a very lovie dovie person and I think my bae had gotten used to that in our time together so when I all of a sudden stopped hugging, kissing, snuggling hell even talking and in general didn't want to be touched I'm sure it threw him for a loop.

To sum it up...I was annoyed and he was annoying (he's really not tho), which was cray because as soon as he would leave I would want him to come back.

poor boo.

6) SENSITIVITY TO EVERY DAMN THING

Bring on the tears!

Want to know the craziest thing I cried over so far?

Bae made me noodles and the consistency of the sauce wasn't thick enough...so I cried.

Moving on.

7) THE BROWN TUMMY LINE

To my shock in the second month of pregnancy there it was creeping up along my lower abdomen. While its quite light right now, just seeing it start to appear made me think "wow...i'm really pregnant"

8) JUICY COOCH

LMAO.

So yea...due to the increased blood flow and uh, I'm sure a whole bunch of other biological things that are important for the baby. A side effect of being pregnant is an extra juicy cooch-- a positive for dad if you ever let him touch you in the first trimester, possibly an annoyance for you.

*shrugs* 

I'm sure this all comes in handy in the second trimester when your sex drive goes back up.

9) GREEN POOP

One of the most alarming symptoms that happened out of nowhere was when my poop turned green. 

0_o

Like...wtf?! Green poop, normally a sign of a stomach virus or some other impending doom...apparently during pregnancy is completely normal (kinda)

The green poop stems from your prenatal vitamins and the fact that you are getting an overload of iron to your system. Pair that with the fact that you're not really eating that much during the first few months due to morning sickness and BOOM. 

You have a recipe for GREEN POOP =D

10) HUGE AREOLAS 

-___-

Moving on.

11) NAUSEOUS CUZ YOUR HUNGRY...

But then you're hungry because you're nauseous.

This never ending cycle has plagued my first few months. My body literally would get to a point where I was SO hungry (because I was not eating due to morning sickness) that it would force me into feeling sick even more!

It's dumb, just dumb!

Biggest lesson here is, try to eat ladies at least something. 

12) YOUR FAVES AINT YOUR FAVES

Y'all...I used to love Chick Fil A chicken, like really love. You could pretty much say that we were in a committed relationship.

But ever since baby has been on board (I hate that phrase by the way) I have not been able to eat any type of chicken unless its cut up in teeny tiny pieces. Even worse I'm having a super hard time with fried meat in general.

So I've been neglecting my nuggets and can't even stomach the idea of biting into a Chick Fil A sandwich *cries*

What has this world come to?

13) GAS

At any given moment I am so gassy that it hurts. 

I've had to abandon the whole "girls don't fart" thing and bae has been getting court side seats to every sound and smell. 

Completely embarrassing. At first I would run to the other room or wait till he was sleep but at this point, I've given up all hope lol.  Oh, especially when we are in the car because the pain is unbearable -- I do kindly roll down the window and motion my hands in the direction so air will flow out.

Side bar-- if you ever see me with a bump it's probably just gas right now lol.

14) HEARTBURN

I had never had heartburn before, I was not even convinced that I would get it because I had never had it.

WRONG!

That ish comes with a vengeance!!

Biggest tip, don't eat and lay down. 

But even still you may not be able to avoid it.

15) MEMORY LOSS

Ask me any question and I promise you boo...I either won't be able to answer or will have a pretty hard time delivering the answer in a timely fashion. 

I can't believe this early on I'm having issues with memory recall. No matter if it's normal conversation or even if i'm just going to type something into google. I often find my mind completely blank when trying to think of what something is called or what I was about to look up.

Sometimes I feel straight up dumb lol. Hopefully I don't have to give any presentations at work anytime soon lol.

FINAL THOUGHTS...

Pregnancy is a struggle y'all hahahah I had no clue what to expect when I found out (that story is coming soon to the blog) but never in a million years would I have ever thought all theses changes would come so soon.

The craziest thing though is that I'm completely ready for all the other unknown changes to sprout up, because that means I'm getting close to seeing my little one <3

In the comments below let me know if you are expecting or if you're already a momma did you experienced any of these changes? Which ones were your least fave? Did I miss anything you went through? And if you're not a mom yet, let me know your thoughts on all these crazy changes. Are you ready?

Until Next Time,

XO DeAnna